Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Translating YouTube comments

Don't believe that humanity is in sorry shape right now? All you have to do is look at what people are like when no one's watching, or, in modern times, what they're like on the interet, where they are granted anonymity.

YouTube in particular is on awful collecting place for the guttersnipes of society. Sure, there are pointless videos, but mostly I'm talking about the awful comments. Here's just a few, with the proper translations following so you can understand what the heck they're saying:

---------------------

SUBJECT OF COMMENT: Barack Obama > George Bush. George Bush = Satan. Etc.

YOUTUBE COMMENT: bush kept u safe my ass if he did thousand of men and women wouldnt of died he even brought england into it 2 help fight his war and what 4 eh nothing. lets hope obama will change and make america whole again!!!

TRANSLATION: With all due respect my good sir, I would swear by the sanctity of my ass that, contrary to your belief, Bush has not kept us safe, as evidence by the high death toll of American people. Since we all know England is quite useless, George Bush bringing England into the whole affair for quite a silly move on his part. It was all for nothing, mostly because they do nothing more than eat crumpets and sip tea. Obama, however is infinitely superior to George Bush. He will change America and make it whole again. I know this because I am twelve and quite fufilled in my wordly wisdom. Also, Obama said so. Exclamation point times three!

SUBJECT OF COMMENT: Well, the video was originally about Miley Cyrus, so I don't know how it digressed to this.

YOUTUBE COMMENT: if u were smart enough to think in terms of thrid person u may not have said that. Im not racist, but i hate niggers. If i were racist i'd hate all blacks, i just hate niggers like that bitch who said miley was racist cuz she's from tennessee

TRANSLATION: You are obviously too moronic to think in third person, otherwise, you would not have made such a strange remark. Let me inform that I am not racist. I simply hate negroes, or, as you may know them "niggers". This class of people does not encompass the entire black race. If I did indeed despise the entire race, I suppose you could call me a racist. For an example of a "nigger", which I dislike, refer to that female dog who strongly implied Ms. Cyrus is a racist simply because of her geographical location, Tennessee.

---------------------

I have no hope for humanity. I can't bear to look at any more. :p